A couple of weekends ago I went out with the Drawing London on Location meetup group again. They were great company as usual but I had a very difficult day of sketching. I got off to a bad start as the tube was delayed so I missed the group meet at the tube station. I then spent at least an hour walking around the very busy Museum of Natural History trying to find something I wanted to draw. Everything that initially looked tempting was either too involved and would take too long, too crowded or at second glance just not right for me. I ended up spending the morning sketching a statue of a ‘bloke with a funny shaped head’ (Mat’s take on my sketch of Darwin). Then after meeting with people for lunch I ended up spending the best part of 2 hours searching both the Science Museum and the Natural History Museum again and finally in desperation did a few 10 minute sketches of the other sketchers. The (frankly crappy) results are below. The sketchers shown are Adam on the left, Lee on the right and some bloke who wasn’t with our group in the middle.
For some reason lately I have found it difficult to settle to anything. I’ve found it hard to get into books I’ve been trying to read, hard to keep working on the more involved drawings I have been doing, hard to find new things I really want to draw. Even simple decisions like what to eat for tea were becoming hard work. It is so frustrating and upsetting when you find yourself having to put a lot of effort into things that normally happen by themselves and feeling indifferent about things that ordinarily bring automatic pleasure. I have had occasions since I started drawing again when I have headed out to draw and had to head home frustrated and angry as nothing seemed right. But it has never been this difficult. I have to feel enthusiastic about the subject matter when I draw otherwise I can’t get into it and don’t enjoy it. Having only just rediscovered my enjoyment of drawing I feel quite anxious that I could lose it again.
Anyway, the apathetic, indecisive mood does seem to be on it’s way out now. I have very recently managed to finish the large project that I mentioned a couple of posts ago (I’ll post it here soon) and I’ve had a couple of other ideas for drawings that I am looking forward to exploring. I’m planning to go out sketching on location again this weekend so we’ll see how that goes.